Wednesday, October 6, 2010

We hate LSAC

LSAC makes all these ridiculous rules for taking the LSAT. My teacher's life is the LSAT. The night before the test he gets nervous for us and during the test he has the tendency to break things so his wife sends him with us to wait in the lobby while we take it.
Well someday he'd love to go to the testing center near Oxford and abuse the rules LSAC has set up.
Some people are so worried about having to go to the bathroom they blog about wearing adult diapers; and not only wearing them, they practice USING them! That doesn't show how much you are prepared, it just shows how weird you are!

Things you can/can't do and how to abuse them:

ALL of this must be inside a plastic bag (up to one gallon/3.73 liters).

NO CELL PHONE if its even found turned off, you're escorted from the building. One guy transfered it from his left pocket to his right all the while turned off -- he was kicked out.

NO earplugs
So when the homecoming parade goes by this Saturday you can hear the whole thing and be sad you are stuck inside taking a 7 hour test.

Interestingly there isn't a dress code except for not wearing hats (except for religion) and not putting your hood UP.
Wear an adult diaper but ONLY an adult diaper. Be sure to wear as many religious hats as possible; a turban, yamika etc. When they ask you what's your faith just say "Agnostic, but I just want to be sure my bases are covered for the test."

They dont say what kinds so choose the most smelly kind imaginable. Mix blue cheese, haggus, and kimchi in your gallon size bag and leave it open during the test so testers cant get it out of there mind.

Analog watch...nothing can be digital including the date
They dont specify size so just use one of the classroom size ones, take some duct tape and tape it to your arm. Check it OFTEN!

Liquids UP TO 20 oz in a PLASTIC bottle. Their stated reason for 20 oz is that people will drink too much and have to go to the bathroom. Ironically you can only drink during the break when you could go fill it up four times.
Take your Jack Daniel's along for good measure (it comes in plastic apparently...especially funny at BYU)

No mechanical pencils or pens but you CAN have highlighters. No mechanical pencils because you could fold up a little piece of paper with the answers on it and stick it inside. If you're going to do that, just stick it in your pocket!!!
But who cares about having a highlighter when you can have the big pencils from the state fair...bring about 8 of them and line them up on your desk. Always be tapping one.

Pencil Sharpener
Those pencils have to be sharpened regularly to fill in the small bubbles. If you're not tapping the pencil, be sharpening it.

Eraser (no specifications)
They're worried about the clicking noises with mechanical pencils; just click your eraser.

Always be sharpening or tapping your pencil and clicking your eraser (one for each hand) except for every 5-7 minutes when you stop, sigh and get a look of relief on your face.

Finally just get the answer sheet with ABCDE in 5 columns tattooed on your back just to make people wonder...

Needless to say I laughed the hardest I ever have in class before. 

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